Kern I Really Do That?

Posted: February 29, 2012 by HoarseMan in the Aporia
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Checking out my pool in Bakersfield (surprised it’s water and not oil? I was) after a small quake.

Many writer friends are beginning to work on cover art as they expand into the ebook world, and nice graphics for their websites, and banners for their new Facebook fan pages.

Well… here’s something IMPORTANT you might not have considered — or is it Kernsidered?

I lived in Kern County California TWO times in my life. [I digress] In one place — Bakersfield, which is a suburb of  the oil metropolis Weed Patch —  I straightened all the pictures in the house several times a week and at least once a month saw little white caps in my swimming pool during a minor Three-or-Four-Point-Something tremor.

I’m here to talk about a potentially dangerous four-letter-word. I’m talkin’ ’bout KERN. K-E-R-N… It’s starts with K that rhymes with HEY — which is what they feed horses.

Rod Serling voice…. “Imagine a movie theater when the ORIGINAL version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, with Kevin McCarthy,  is playing. You head out to lobby with your guy pals to get some of the stuff that gets every prepubescent man-child going…and when you open it it turns out to be candy!”

Here’s what a part of the label looks like NOW (when the latest remake starred Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig) — I didn’t use the whole word brand name because I don’t want to get into copyright issues, but I think you can get the drift… 

graphic of the letters Flic

Modern label – lower case, zero kerning

But if you are a GROWNUP (PG-13)… you can see how it looked in the 1950’s with all upper case letters and -75 kerning. You can certainly see why it appealed to prepubescent males.

Part II — YES, I really KERN.

Rod Serling is back… “Now imagine a huge semi-truck passes you on the freeway going about ten mph (16.09 kph for soccer fans) faster than you are. You can’t believe what you see at is zooms by… but you’re pretty sure he meant this:”

A trucking company sign

The sign with zero kerning.

Again, if you are a PG-13 GROWNUP, you can see what blazed by when the first letter was kerned too closely (-100) to the rest of the word.

And the second sign… the graphics are identical to those I saw on a truck on I-25 today…

If you are one who celebrates Wednesday as Blog Day… have a great one. If not, have a great one anyway.

Dente labe ante, brush after kerning — or is it kern after brushing?

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