About HoarseMan

Q: Why is HoarseMan called HoarseMan? Isn’t it supposed to be Horse?

a picture of the Hoarseman adjusting his tieA: So, once upon a time, when Moses was in diapers and the Chicago Cubs had recently won a world series, HoarseMan was a singer. That is, if you consider rock and roll singers to be actual singers (which many people don’t). Anyway, he wasn’t great, but wasn’t exactly piss poor either. Somewhere in between. Fortunately he had another quality or two that helped out.

For a couple or three decades the HorseMan made a few bucks here and there singing songs. Some of which he even wrote. He sang in bars, nightclubs, youth clubs, and reception halls. (No confirmation parties or bar mitzvahs, though; the music was a little unsuitable.) He did some recordings and played a little piano bar. He played solo, with just a guitar, and with LOUD freakin’ rock bands. He was even known to have a little liquid refreshment from time to time. Oh, yeah, and smoked a lot of…cigarettes.

Now you think you know the end of this story, I can see it in your face. If you were right in front of me, I’d bet you almost anything that you’d be wrong.

“The old fart blew out his voice with years of screamin’, drinkin’, and smokin’ and it serves him right to be Hoarse Man,” you’re thinking. Don’t say no, I can see the freakin’ wheels turning from here.

But.
You.
Would.
Be…

WRONG!

Onions did it. After a severe allergic reaction to simple-find-em-freaking-everywhere onions, HoarseMan lost his voice. And other stuff we won’t go into here.

It.
Took.
Almost.
Two.
Years…

To find out why.

A FREAKING VIRUS.

So, now, HoarseMan is hoarse. A grumblegravelvoiced guy. You’ll probably have to tell him to SPEAK UP, when you see him, but that’s cool.

He also saves his voice by clacking keys… ergo, the page you’re reading now.

Thanks for dropping by…

Q: Yeah, all that. But who IS the HoarseMan?

A: Oh, that. The HoarseMan’s real name is Ron Heimbecher and he owns ChaliceMedia LLC.

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