Posts Tagged ‘making stuff up’

image from "The Down Button"

A scene from The Down Button, a Rick Lynxwood film starring Ron Lynch Chalice

In our typical way, we inside the mind of the HoarseMan have decided that we won’t bother to get specific in the name of this blog. Instead, we created a set of post categories that map directly to most of the options we were thinking about as titles for this blog. Here are the new post categories, and what they mean.

  • the Apoapsis: stuff gets written here when the HoarseMan is feeling way off center
  • the Apocarpous: the tendons in the HoarseMan’s wrists are getting tender from typing so freakin’ much – no not really, which would be a good explanation if the “carpous” part referred to “carpal” but it doesn’t. The real reason the HoarseMan chose this is so he could sneak by the censors with sexy stories about carpels being separated by a pistil or two.
  • the Apocope: Leaving stuff out at the end of…
  • the Apocrine: the post probably stinks
  • the Apomorphine: the HoarseMan is having an “off” day, or he’s trying to make his dog puke
  • the Aporia: there’s some intentional confusion or mis-definition in there
  • the Apostasy: the HoarseMan is going off in a different direction, away from his principles (if he had any)
  • the Apostrophe: O Goodness, the HoarseMan is talking to someone who isn’t there, or maybe something has been left out…
  • the Apothecary: did the HoarseMan miss his meds today?
  • the Apotheosis: an expansion of the HoarseMan’s consciousness

We hope this list makes more sense to you than it does to us. Don’t forget about our category friends…

  • 6th Period Civics – where the HoarseMan waxes political, which is really nothing at all like a Brazilian Wax.
  • WTF? – where HoarseMan responds to the aeonian questions “What is this all about, dear?” and “What does this mean, dear?” or perhaps “What the hell is going on here, dear?”

We Inside

The PNCP is a fictitious political party in Ron's online storyworld

OK, so we’re all getting a bit fed up with this manure pile called the 2010 mid-term elections. It really doesn’t matter if you are an R, D, L, GDC, or FTP it still is a big PITA. It’s not even as civilized as he-said-she-said-it-said (*more on it-saids in a minute).

Has any single human being on planet earth heard any single candidate for American public office this year say, “I am, I will, I did” -??? Nope, I’ll bet not. Every single ad in my mailbox, every single pukeyvoiced telephone call in the middle of my freakin’ dinner or evening with my wife, every single mofo pop-up ad on the daggone news website is all about…

  • My opponent is an a-hole because he voted for…
  • My opponent is an a-hole because he voted against…
  • My opponent is an a-hole just because he is…

OK that’s just the candidate to candidate Bovine Scat. Then we’ve got the party-line…

(Did you ever think about the party-line metaphor and how true it is. A bunch of people blabbering at once and nobody is saying anything. — ah, but I digress, and very few people today are old enough to remember a telephone party line. They think a party line is something on a mirror.)

  • The opposing party wants to destroy (BLANK) in America because they’re not real Americans.
  • The opposing party supports (ANYTHING THAT YOU DON’T WANT) and…
  • The opposing party hates (EVERYTHING YOU VALUE IN LIFE)

*I promised more about the it-saids, and here it is. In their black-gowned, stern-faced wisdom the Supremes (NOT the Motown ones with Diana Ross and a couple of other hot chicks but the judge kind) – or should I say the Supreme Court Justices stated that corporations have the same right to participate in politics that human beings do. Yeah, you heard me right corporations–no souls, no hearts, and no friggin’ brains–with the same right to political contributions and discourse (kind of like intercourse, but not as fun) as human beings with blood and stuff. Maybe the Supremes (not the Motown ones) have WAYYYY to much experience with party lines themselves.

How many corporations do you think there are in this day and age whose stock is wholly owned by American citizens? Doh… How many even have the bulk of majority stockholders as American citizens? A simpler question is how many corporations (theoretically and supposedly American corporations) have the bulk of their capital in China and the bulk of their employees in India?

So, in a freakin’ nutshell millions of dollars from China, India, and maybe the Cayman Islands are being spent to put people on television to say “my opponent is an a-hole”?

The saying used to be that politicians are often “economical with the truth.” You know like ad agencies and the fine print in banking terms of service. Well, I’m pretty sure that the last honest words from an American politician were on the missing 18 minutes of the Nixon tapes.

Don’t forget to vote!